The clouds cleared over the weekend, Dear Reader… just long enough for us to realize there is nothing new under the sun.
Scanning the newspapers, we notice that the collectivists are up to their same old tricks: promising free lunches for everyone… then ducking out when the check comes due.
Witness Miss Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the socialist du jour of cheering do-gooders everywhere. The New York congresswoman took to the airwaves last week to explain the New Green Deal program to the downtrodden proletariat.
Jobs for everyone? Check…
An all-green economic boom? Obvio…
Bluer, planeless skies and sparkling, wasteless waterways? No worries…
And what of the flying white horses, with horns sticking out of their heads, you wonder?
As any good socialist knows, unicorns digest their magic pastures into rainbows. No more waste in the water, plenty of same sex-friendly sky decoration overhead.
Pots of gold all around, in other words.
Ah, but then comes the bill…
“You're talking about things that obviously would cost a lot of money,” the interviewer gently prodded the congressperson, “You don't specify where it's going to come from, other than saying it will all pay for itself."
It is no secret that AOC is plenty eager to eat the rich. Her 70% top marginal tax rate is unashamedly displayed toward the top of her shiny green agenda. But, as she herself explained, the idea that taxes can pay for 100% of government expenditure is very much “mistaken.”
“It's just not how government expenditure works,” she said.
So, where’s the rest? Continued Miss OC…
“Government projects are often financed by a combination of taxes, deficit spending and other kinds of investments - you know, bonds and so on.”
Ah, the ol’ buy-now, (say you’re gonna) pay-later model. A kind of governmental layaway program. Gotcha.
Readers will be quick to recognize the familiar ruse… as was the radio interviewer.
“They said the same thing about the tax cut,” he reminded his doe-eyed guest. “The economy will grow. It's going to be great. It's going to pay for itself. Hasn't turned out to be true at all.”
Now, now… we know what you’re thinking, Gentle Reader. Hasn’t this poor guy read any socialist literature?
Doesn’t he know that private individuals have no idea how to invest their own money? That, left to their own sorry devices, they are wont to squander it on things they only pretend to like and want.
As is common knowledge among world-improvers of every stripe, fallen citizens need government angels to keep their money safe from them, to invest it responsibly in things they really do need.
Think of it like a dutiful parent portioning out an impulsive teen’s pocket money.
Individual people are dumb, you see… it’s only when they are grouped together and sent (by their allegedly idiotic peers) to Congress that they develop their keen sense of unquestioning omniscience.
Fortunately, AOC was on hand to make the critical distinction between public and private funds.
On the one hand, letting Americans keep more of their own money (a tax break), is “an irresponsible use of government expenditure.”
On the other, borrowing money from future Americans to pay for questionable government projects is prudent because, “we actually do have the evidence. For every $1 invested in infrastructure, we get $6 back.”
So you see, Dear Reader, all is right in the end. The government invests $1 and is guaranteed to sextuple their (read: not your) money!
Now, just imagine how rich America would be if – like Venezuela and Cuba before it – the government confiscated even more of your money and nationalized even more private industry?
Hey, is that a unicorn overhead? Time to get ready for the rainbow…
Joel Bowman for International Man